So, I had a scare this week. Without saying too much...basically, I thought God had a different plan for my life, than what MY plan was....and I can say this: it TERRIFIED me. I begged, I pleaded, I cried my eyes out, and I threw a fit. I didn't WANT His plan, no matter how good and perfect. It didn't FIT with my agenda, my schedule, my "time-table."
I went through a solid day of this.....until I realized that my fears were strangely unneccessary. That God really wasn't asking me to do something 'unexpected.' Perhaps he DID give me a choice, perhaps he saw what I truly could or could NOT handle and let me go with MY heart. I can say this: it shook me up and made me think...
Am I willing to give up things in my life to follow Christ?
Am I willing to let His timing be perfect?
Am I willing to be bold for Christ?
Am I willing to sacrifice my most sacred "possessions" if He asked me too?
Am I willing to TRUST?? No, REALLY trust?
To be completely honest...I don't know yet. I want to answer these truthfully and really mean them. I hope one day my answers will please Him.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I love your questions Becky and I honestly think that there is something amiss with us spiritually if we aren't asking ourselves these things. I think the problem is that if we are not, we run the risk of getting too comfortable in our lives and living as Christ does NOT want us to live...
I don't know your situation or even if God is teaching you similar things that He has taught our family this last year and a half but I'll share a few of my personal insights in case what we're learning overlaps in any areas...
This is what God has taught our family (and just a note, I am not claiming that we know know all of it but we rather are now committed to continuing on his path for our lives and making sure we are constantly "keeping in step with the Spirit."
-God wants us to walk in obedience. Simply said, hard for our hearts to obey often. Just like our kids struggle against our authority, we struggle against Gods. (part of the reason we have been so EXCITED about training our children in righteousness because I DON'T want our kids to struggle like we do.)
-Give up our plans. Seriously. Moving to Tennessee was NOT in my plans let me tell you! But the spiritual growth and my relationship with Jesus compared to what it was before is like comparing a weed to a beautiful oak tree. What I would have missed if I would have kept to my own plan...
-Evaluate my life for idols. I always thought of idolatry in much different terms. Hmm, maybe that was so I didn't have to feel convicted. My plans, my family, my comfort - those were idols to me and I still struggle to keep God exalted above all else
-Keep my eyes fixed on eternity. I feel like decisions fall into place more when I do this and when my gaze slips and starts to focus in on what is in front of me things like fear, worry, selfishness, discontent start to fill my heart. But when I am thinking about standing before the throne of God and giving an account of my life it somehow puts things in perspective. I want to be asking myself how MY life is furthering God's Kingdom.
So that's what God has been doing in my own heart through this move and upheaval of all that we know -nothing that I "knew" before is the same and I am so thankful for it, yet I know that I need to continually be on guard so that I don't slip back to where I was. I beleive that God intends for us to enjoy our blessings, but also intends for us to be tools for His Glory, and to walk in obedience because He is God.
Here is a post that I felt was very convicting - I need to be constantly reminded that my life, lead according to my own plans, is not a life Christ would choose for me. For me personally, the harder the choice the more God blesses it.
http://kristiknifong.blogspot.com/2008/07/do-you-really-want-to-follow-jesus.html
So don't know if any of that made sense but thought I'd share in the off chance it did!
Becky, I love your rawness, thank you for opening up and really sharing your heart! How can I follow after what willow said, that was amazing words of encouragement! You are precious! (IV REAL)
Post a Comment