I was reminded last night that I never posted on my "serious self discovery".... sorry! Here it is...for what it's worth. I've come to realize that I am actually "afraid of people." A fear of man, so to speak. I had to RSVP to a birthday party last week for Elijah, and I seriously almost had a panic attack with the thought of talking to someone I don't know. (Thankfully, I got their voice mail) Then, there are play dates. Sadly, I hardly ever have anyone over to play with the kids, or go to play dates for that matter cause I am sooo intimidated. I don't know what to talk about, where to start even. I've always had a hard time making friends...which people think is funny, or ridiculous, but if you have "people phoebia" you would understand. Going to parties where I don't REALLY know the people...well, let's just say I almost always have an excuse. It's something that if we 'have' to go to...I almost always have a meltdown/breakdown/break out and STRESS out. It's something I'm working on, and within the last few months I've realzied how extreme it actually is. I can work with people, I can have "people skills"...it's that one on one, the unknown, the reaching out...and let's just say...the fear of opening up...what if I'm rejected. So many things. Anyways, that's all...that was my self discovery.
On a lighter note...Elijah lost another tooth today..at STARBUCKS! He just pulled it out! So funny. This is fun. I thought it would be really gross, but his little face gets so excited that he is "growing up." I guess losing your teeth is a five-year olds "right of passage" to becoming a BIG BOY! :)
AND...what would a post be without a house update!? Well, we had someone come yesterday, and they came back again today for a SECOND LOOK! EEK! It's getting "official" now. We came home after they were gone...and there was ANOTHER car here, with people inside our house. This frustrated me. They didn't even call first, we had no idea they were coming, or how much longer we needed to be gone. I can't imagine what we would have done if we were here. Imagine that...toys everywhere, the kids, the dog, sippy cups scattered, beds unmade....UGH! Anyways, a second look honestly makes me nervous. What if they make an offer...ARE WE READY FOR THIS! :) Guess we'll find out!?
ONWARD.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Becky, I am loving how honest you are with "who" you are. I understand that fear. I'm not good at making small talk which sometimes comes off as snobby, but I just don't thrive in that. It's hard to know what to talk about when you don't know someone. You put it in words very well!
Awesome stuff about the house! Let us know if you get an offer!!! And, silly, you were so worried that people may not like your house! It's beautiful!! You are so ready for this transition! It's good, the fresh start, making a home "yours" and the adventure is fun! I'm just glad you're not moving far away! I've had enough of that for a life time...and then some!
I'm love you my friend!!!
Wow becky, thanks for that little peek into YOU. I love learning about people and who they really are.I believe this. The more you know someone, the more you are able to love them. I never would have thought that about you. You seem so confident and sure of yourself around others(what little i've seen - he-he which isn't much) and even, easy going. I toally get you, though. I can feel that way, too in certain situations. Last week i went to my neigbors daughters birthday party (they're armenian) and everyone there spoke armenian and stared at me like i was from outer space! i definitely felt intimidated! haha! :)
thanks for sharing.
how exciting about your house! keep us posted!
are you still planning on running shamrock?
I was a little freaked out about RSVP-ing for that party too. I was so relieved to get her voicemail! I have been working on being more outgoing/talkative for a while now and it's finally starting to get easier. I still have a hard time approaching people that I have never talked to, but I must admit, I felt very comfortable talking to you since we went to school together. Sure, we never actually "spoke" at school, but at least you were a familiar face. :-) Don't be scared of me, bring your kids over and have lunch with us!
I have the same fear, although the older I get, the more I realize something (my mom clued me in on this many years ago). People LOVE to talk about themselves, so if you just keep asking questions, the conversation never gets old ;)
Oh and did you have this discovery when you were reading the book I bought? Cause the main character, has those same fears (I relate well to her)
Post a Comment